What goes on tour

When I arrived at Glenfarclas, the plan was that I would spend 4 months learning about the processes involved in making whisky, while trying to make myself useful....or at least not get in the way.

As I have written previously, I spent time filling casks and rolling them around in warehouses, making vast quantities of flat beer in the mash house and trying to learn the black art of distillation. Even the boring bits were interesting in one way or another, and I was amazed at how the patiently everyone showed me their craft and made me feel welcome. It is clear that the people who work at Glenfarclas take pride in what they do and the whisky that is produced.

The end of my 4 months was approaching all too quickly and I was by no means ready to leave. This was an industry that had finally captured my interest, in a country that I was rapidly falling in love with.

While I was working in production, I was told the Glenfarclas Visitor Centre would be hiring an additional tour guide to assist with the extra visitors to the distillery over the busy summer period. I applied for the job and given that I had undeniably relevant experience, was the successful applicant.

Of the roughly 50 distilleries in the Speyside region, Glenfarclas is one of the minority that is set up to take visitors who want to see the whisky-making process and absorb a bit of the "water of life" mystique. Glenfarclas has a visitor centre with lots of wood and tartan and a tasting room with panelling that was salvaged from the first class smoking lounge of a pre-WWI steam ship. For most of the year, there are four part-time tour guides who take visitors on tours of the distillery and talk about a bit of the history and background. The guides also run the visitor centre shop.

The Visitor Centre

My training as a tour guide was to follow the other guides around on a few tours and to "familiarise" myself with the Glenfarclas range of whiskies. I soon started taking tours myself and with each tour, my explanations get a bit more polished. The challenge is to tell the same joke several times a day and make it sound fresh each time. I have been taking tours for about 2 months now and it's the best job of all. People who come to the distillery are generally on holiday and in a good mood. I talk to them about something I am interested in, then feed them booze. It doesn't really feel like work at all.

The Visitor Centre operates in a jovial and slightly haphazard way where nothing is taken too seriously. It all makes for a very enjoyable working day. Most other distilleries hire students as tour guides over summer, but at present, I am the youngest of the six guides and the only full-timer. The others are all good fun and while the days are busy, we seem to spend the spare moments laughing about one thing or another. There is absolutely no pressure to sell as the Visitor Centre is there more as a public relations exercise than to sell whisky. If people leave the distillery with a good impression of the place, the people and the product, then we have done our job. If they like the whisky and want to buy a bottle or some sort of souvenir, then we are happy to oblige.

Whatever I am saying here clearly isn't interesting enough to hold one man's attention

Each tour is different. 12 people is about the most I like to have on a tour, but last week I took a tour of 43 German high school kids. Sometimes it's just one or two people on the tour and it ends up being a chat and a stroll around. People come in from all over the world. Some stereotypes have been shattered, others reinforced. The Germans are often very serious until the mood is lightened with some toilet humour. A Japanese man came in recently and I offered him a taste of a special Glenfarclas. He must have enjoyed it because as he sat and sipped it, he made the most obscene, almost sexual groans. Tour buses can be a tough crowd, mostly as they are only there because their tour of Scotland includes a distillery, and not all of them are that interested. Whisky nerds are an peculiar bunch and like to try and catch the guides out. I have the advantage of having worked in whisky production, so can answer most of their ridiculous questions. The vast majority of the visitors are great and I often feel like I form hour-long friendships.

"Over to your right, you will notice....."

I don't really like the whole business of selling things, but I decided to set myself a challenge to sell whisky without coming across as a salesman. This has turned out to be quite enjoyable. I have become a massive Glenfarclas fan-boy, so I will quite happily tell someone how special a certain bottle is and what a comparative bargain it is. They soon realise that not buying this bottle would be extremely regrettable. In fact, perhaps the sensible option is to get two...

I have moved into a cottage in the country, just outside of the village of Dufftown, which calls itself the "Malt Whisky Capital of the World". I'm growing to like Dufftown. I'm making friends and getting involved in some community activities. There is a Stramash (traditional live music night) on Mondays, a whisky tasting hosted by a different distillery every Wednesday night and a Ceilidh (traditional Scottish dancing night) every Thursday. My friend Denny from the Netherlands is a guide at another distillery and has also recently moved to Dufftown. We met at one of the whisky tastings and hit it off. He and I can usually be found at any local event where there is whisky involved. I even hosted one of the whisky tastings on behalf of Glenfarclas, which was a new (and slightly daunting) experience, but good fun.

My new hoose. Consider this an invitation to come and stay. It's not as grand as the last one, but it does have a spare room.

In September, as the long days become shorter, the tourists will become fewer and the need for an extra guide will decrease. My stint as a guide, like all good things, will come to an end. In the mean time, I will learn all I can and build as many relationships as possible. I would love to stay in the industry, but who knows what the future holds.

"This whisky is of such superior quality, it will even cure male-pattern baldness"